How to manage separation anxiety with your toddler or preschooler

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage for toddlers, particularly when they are about to embark on a new experience away from their primary caregivers. Whether it's a first day at preschool, daycare, or even a short playdate, the anxiety can be challenging for both the child and parent. For our Allo community, here are some valuable tips and tricks to manage this phase:

1. Practice Makes Perfect Before the big day, introduce your toddler to short separations. It could be as simple as leaving them with a trusted family member or friend for a short period. This 'practice' helps them understand that separations are temporary and that you will return. 2. Keep Goodbyes Short and Sweet It's essential to convey confidence when saying goodbye. While it may be tempting to linger because of your child's tears, a swift and cheerful farewell can be less distressing. Remember, your toddler might pick up on those feelings if you appear anxious or uncertain. 3. Create a Goodbye Ritual Consistency can be comforting. Create a fun and reassuring goodbye ritual – maybe a special wave, a hug followed by a high-five, or a secret handshake. This routine will provide a sense of familiarity over time. We love the book The Kissing Hand for this! 4. Pack a Comfort Object Allow your toddler to take a familiar object with them, whether it's a favorite toy, blanket, or even a photo of the family. This comfort object can act as a bridge between home and the new environment. 5. Stay Connected For older toddlers, a small note or a drawing tucked into their bag can be a pleasant surprise and a reminder that you're thinking of them. Some preschools also offer apps or platforms where they share photos or updates about your child's day, helping you stay connected. 6. Communicate Talk to your child about where they'll be going, who they'll be with, and what they might do. Reading books about separation anxiety or stories where characters venture out independently can also be helpful. 7. Ensure a Reliable Pick-up Routine Always be on time for pickups. This punctuality helps build trust and assures your toddler that you'll be there as promised. 8. Connect with Caregivers Forge a relationship with the caregivers or teachers. This builds trust for you, and when your child sees you have a friendly rapport with their caregiver, it can help ease their anxiety. 9. Validate Their Feelings Acknowledging and validating your child's feelings rather than dismissing or ignoring them is important. Statements like "I know you're sad I'm leaving, but I'll be back soon, and you'll have a fun time!" can be reassuring. 10. Seek Support Chat with other parents at Allo! Sharing experiences and tips can provide new perspectives and coping strategies.

Remember, while this phase can be emotionally challenging, it's temporary. With time, patience, and the right strategies, your toddler will learn to navigate separations more confidently.